shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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