His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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