I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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