just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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