I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
