He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
