she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
