"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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