so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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