WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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