My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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