Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
