No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The ass gains better be worth it
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