This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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