I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
