Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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