you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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