ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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