Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
