I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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