508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
