I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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