Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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