my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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