Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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