sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
