After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
