About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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