can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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