I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize