Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the day after is always just damage control
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
