so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
