I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I am mentally ready for anal.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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