well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
