yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize