if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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