I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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