come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
