Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
