apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
