I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize