I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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