I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Pants are for mortals
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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