Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
