He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
