Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
