yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?