i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.