if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in