What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.