Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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