Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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