Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She bit a glass in half.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
