I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Its about making memories worth repressing
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
