Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
