where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
