yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
