I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
