If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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